Friday, May 20, 2011

I learnt to live half alive.

I didnt wanna be sad but everybody is sad today. There's just something wrong recently I dont know why my moods are so affected easily. What's more I log onto formspring and people ask me emo questions. I surf youtube and listened to Torn by Natalie and Jar of Hearts by Maddi Jane. And everybody is just sad and disappointed today. This paid for everything right. I was so happy the whole day today and just right a few minutes before today is gonna end, God had to make me sad. Like really sad. I dont know, sometimes I wish my blogger is private. Sometimes I wish noone reads my tumblr or twitter. I need a place to vent out everything and currently now it's my phone. But my phone keeps hanging, it's irritating esp when I have to reboot it a million times. Reboot when downloading app, reboot when deleting app, reboot when no battery, reboot when hang. I'm starting to get sick of it ok, but I love my bb so much.

So many things this week. I can safely announce that this week sucks. Everything sucks this week. Even for my friends and everybody, this week sucks. Tomorrow will be better, next week will be better. I have so many things to say but I cant say here. I dont know, I have haters out there reading my blog. Maybe they're happy that I'm finally sad. Yaaa, I dont know. I dont wanna fight alr, I dont wanna quarrel. I'm growing up tomorrow. I know my birthday is long over and I'm already sixteen but I decided to grow up tomorrow. Will it be good? Not sure, maybe not as much fun? But surely more respect, more mature, more obedience. I dont know, for the first time I'm emo. Ew, I hate emofreaks. No wonder I feel that I hate myself abit now. K actually alot. This sucks. I dont know but talking about haters, I really hate those who hate me and bitch about me hardcore behind my back and act damn nicely infront of me. I really dont understand what these kind of people are trying to prove, cowards maybe idk.

K really no time to spend thinking about the biggest fans of mine -,- Today is really bad for me, and I'm going rp tomorrow with sheela and the rest. I hope I will be feeling better by tomorrow after a good sleep. I really hope. I need to score well for my chinese olevels. I know it's chinese and noone actually study chinese but I'm doing just that. I'm studying chinese everyday. K except today.

Should I grow up tomorrow? Why do we have so many doubts in our lives? Can't everything be straight forward and dummy free just like Mr Lim's maths and amaths notes? Why?

People stop believing in trust, that's why.

Mark today on your calendar. Saddest day of my life. I know when people say ___ of my life, I will be like "you havent lived ur whole life yet". It's ok, I'll die tomorrow.

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