Friday, January 14, 2011

I don't wanna waste another minute here.

Hey, I realised my workload in school is really heavy that I dont have time to blog every single day like how I used to during the holidays. So I think the least I would do is try to blog every week, try okay. HAHA, cos I'm really gonna take this year's national examination seriously. I wanna see my name appear on the big screen in the hall! MUAHAHAHA, to Sheela: -dance- LET'S DO IT. LOL.

Anyways, this week is relatively trainings and competitions week. Preparing for our first match against Sembawang during training and stuffs like that. Initially we wanted to get a team bra, cos like cool ma. Our new jersey is white colour, then can shunbian show off our bra also. So our bra must be branded and naice one. LOL, we wanted to buy nike purple one. But afterwards, I dont know what happened, they all went to buy by themselves one by one. So Pan and I are getting our own purple bra (hopefully same as kelly's) at Queensway. WOO, excited. HAHAHA, I have alot of sports bra la. But having one branded one will stand out alot man. LOL.

I'm dying to go out, shopping or whatever. I dont wanna get buried in books at the beginning of the year! LOL. But neither do I wanna go out everyday and have fun. I wanna limit myself, must finish homework then think of play. I think I managed to do so la, cos initially I THOUGHT I had bio test on Tuesday and didnt went to buy sports bra with Pan. But turned out the test on Friday siah. Walau. HAHAHA. I studied alot for Bio test! I think I'm proud of myself. LOL, I rewrote the entire notes to get the hang of writing the keywords man. Anyway, biology test on Thursday after school in the library was okay. I dont really like the atmosphere there. It's like too quiet, and when someone make a little bit noise only I irritated already. LOL, somemore it's aircon. Normally fans will make some noise right? You know what I mean? Like or maybe the wind blow then got noise, but the library like so quiet. I DONT LIKE. HAHAHA.

hmm, I cant remember what exactly happened la. But Pan and I went to popular on Wednesday if I'm not wrong. HAHAHA, bought alot of pens, now my pencil case is so full that I have to zip already then slowly squeeze everything in. I need a new pencil case man. Pfft. WE BOUGHT IDENTICAL GREY HIGHLIGHTERS, yea freaking grey colour! Damn nice! I feel so happy everytime I use it. Just like how I'm happy to use the big eraser Pantita bought for me. LOL. We also saw something really strange, weird, shocking. I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY LA, but I cant say it out. MUAHAHA, I know you hate this feeling, but aw! ): LOL. I'm so mean, but I like it.

Oh ya, in case some of you have been reading my tweets. Lemme tell you what happened yesterday okay. I went home and called papa and mummy. And my father never hear.

Papa: You no need to call me one ah?

Me: I call you already!



Then mummy asked me what happened and stuffs, she say maybe papa
never hear then ask me go call him again. So I did.

Me: PAPA. (Loudly, just in case he cannot hear AGAIN!)


(come towards me and tried to hit me, I fought back as he wanted
to slap me, in the end he slapped part of my face.)

What an unreasonable father. I call him, he never hear is my fault? Sometimes I call him I dont even know he got hear or not cos he never respond T.T Then after I call him, he never respond, how am I suppose to know if he got hear it or not. I should just go in his face and scream PAPA man. Seriously. Mummy even heard me call him, WITNESS! But my mother still helped my father. Saying I attitude whatever, please la. If I really attitude, you think I will go back and call him again meh. They really dont understand me ): When I go back and call him again, of course normal people will still feel abit bushuang right! I AM NORMAL, I felt damn bushuang, how nice do you expect my tone to be when I'm bushuang! It's like when people ask you to apologise, will bushuang right! WTH. I was damn angry, especially afterwards when he said he led a sad life because he got unfilial children. He dont even know if we are gonna feed him when they grow old. He told my mum to be mentally prepared that we will rid her and stuffs. WTF LA SERIOUSLY. If you really want that to happen, I can jolly well do it man. I'll earn alot of money, fucking shit loads of money, and I'll give them to my mother. Since you dont want it, right? I supposed this is the ending you wanted, and that's just what you're gonna get. My father even said, I got no good points at all except for my good grades. Havent those grades of mine made you any prouder? I'll cry if you say no, I'll prolly leave the family. Cos if it doest make you the least bit proud at all, I have no idea what contributes I have to the family. Seriously. I can admit man, maybe I may not really have any good points. I'm not as helpful as Xintien, not as bubbly as Xinlerk, not as cute as Chaoxiang. Fine la. But tell me if it wouldnt make a difference if I wasn't born in the first place.

Played against Sembawang Sec today. Our first North Zone games. Btw, we're grouped together with Woodlands Sec, Yishun Sec, Hougang Sec and Sembawang Sec. Took down the first set with 30-28. A really close shave, but definitely an exciting game. I couldnt help but feel if I was the one playing inside. Of course I met with such scores during the game before, but how great would it be to feel the excitement and anxiety in the game again right! What's more, it was really a waste that I couldnt get into the team at my last year. I was writing the statistics with Qiuheng helping me all the way, sadly I didnt get to sit on the bench like how I hoped for. We played 3 sets and we eventually lost the game. I dont understand why people are crying. Maybe it's because I never play, I dont understand how you guys feel. But one thing for sure, you will never understand how I feel. You will never know how much I felt outside the court. It's like, the one playing should be me! You know. I think everyone did a great job, maybe you have high expectations for yourself. But nevertheless, it was a good fight what! The people who are expected to cry didnt, and people are are not expected to cry cried. I thought I should be the one crying.

Even if you guys felt you didnt do your best, but effort was clearly shown what. See, even if both teams put in a lot of effort, there's bound to be a winner and loser. So no matter the outcome, we must always remember we did try our best. Pantita told a damn meaningful story:

There's this guy, he wanted to be a singer alot. So he went to
an audition. The judge told him that he failed, and he smiled. The judge was
surprised and asked him, "Why are you still smiling when you failed the
audition?" And he replied, "Because my father once told me that, if I lose and
is still able to smile, I'm better than the winner."

Doesnt this just make so much sense? Pan and I wanted to get a tattoo of the last part. MUAHAHAHA, when we grow up la. Tattoo on some place nice and sexy. LOLOL. I dont mind having thai letters! WOO. It will look cool anyways.

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