Friday, February 12, 2016

Remember today

Today is 12 February 2016, 2 days away from Valentine's Day. I honestly never thought too much about this day and never expected anything. I'm not the kind of girl who would write or buy cute and sweet stuff for my friends on the day like this, so I really didn't expect to receive anything. And also cause I've never received flowers or anything on this day from a friend, just maybe a simple note of appreciation, which was honestly thoughtful enough in my opinion. 

On this day (or nearing this day) in Secondary School, The Cocoa Trees would come and sell chocolates and there would be booths set up selling flowers or song dedications and all that kind of stuff. I was never the one receiving tons of roses under the table, and walking out of school with a hand full of flowers and tons of envious eyes on her. I wasn't sad or anything I guess, cos I've never bought flowers for anyone either so I guess it's fair for me to not expect anything.

Pandora from Nessie for X'mas and rose for Vday hehe
I need a boyfriend like her 

This morning I went out of the room to take a shower and walked back to the room with a rose outside the front door in hall. At one look I really didn't even bother bending down to find who the rose was for because I thought it's definitely for Nessie since we share the same room. Then I thought, but she just left the room so if it was hers she would have picked it up. So I picked the rose up and found that IT WAS FOR ME FROM HER HAHHAH. (sneaky sneaky) I was so so so so happy. It was my first time ever receiving a rose from a friend and I'm super grateful and touched and I just feel so appreciated. Like...SOMEONE LOVES ME HEHEHE. That left me in a pretty good mood the entire day, until I missed 2 buses and ended up being late for lecture.

Blue rose from Jezebel and huge polaroid photo taken with Jez and Isshani!
And upon reaching my friends who saved seats for me in the lecture theatre, Jez handed a blue rose to me. I was quite taken aback, and went like "For me? You give me?" and she just smiled and nod. And I was left feeling so so so happy all over again. I'm so happy!!! I feel so loved. THANK YOU JEZ!!! HEHE It's like I literally just told Nessie I've never received roses from a friend this morning and this afternoon I got another one! It's such a good day. Then after lecture, this cute guy was giving out free hugs and I just went for it. Why not make my day even better? HAHAHA.

Sunflower from Tyn!!!
Just when I thought my day honestly couldn't get any better, I walked into my next class and it was the first time in 2 years of studying in NUS that I've seen so many cute guys in one room. HAHAHAH basically if you're taking Bahasa Indonesia 1, take up traditional costumes as your project. Oh and girls, make sure you have long hair, the longer the better. Because I almost got paired with a cute guy for one of the costume except that bloody costume needed me to have long hair and I literally just chopped like 5 inches of my hair off less than a week ago. Sighs, but anyway I can't be too choosy with the costumes because I had no friends in class, and also cos I can't wear sleeveless costumes as my back tattoo would show, and also cos I have bloody short hair now. I never ever thought my new fabulous hair would limit my love life like this. HAHAHAH ok kidding.

Anyway during the class, that little problem couldn't bring my mood down at all cos I received a text from Nessie saying I got another flower in my room!!! It was from Tyn, super unexpected but that definitely makes it super super sweet and thoughtful at the same time. Today is a day I had no chance to feel upset about myself because I felt so appreciated and loved by my friends. Today is a day I genuinely love myself because of the love my beloved friends showered on me. I know it's silly how you think I'm going crazy and over-sentimental over three flowers I received on Valentine's Day, because you probably received tons of it every year or maybe you are already a very contented person. Well, that's really good for you because I was never as lucky to feel how you feel all the time. 

There are days I really really hate myself over the smallest things ever. Making my friends upset would make me feel like the worst person on Earth. Sometimes I think I'm a horrible friend. Which is why people think I get over my head with compliments maybe. I get very happy when people compliment me. I know it's wrong of me to seek comfort in the words of others, but sometimes it's really that hard for me to love myself and be happy with how I am as a person. I think some people out there would be able to relate to me regarding this. Compliments come as quite a surprise to me, which is why I react in a way where I probably don't believe you because maybe you're fucking with me, or I just get really really happy. 

Alright, I shall not digress. Today is a really good day for me and I forgot when was the last time I felt this genuinely happy. I am so grateful to have my friends around me, so so grateful.

PS: And also what makes me happy everyday is wearing this Pandora bracelet that Nessie got for me as my christmas gift last year, and the charm says "friends forever" hehehe. Cliche and cheesy I know, but I wear this reminder on my wrist every day and it makes me feel so secure (because I know I have a friend who always has my back) and happy. I LOVE YOU BB HEHE. I know many people think it's weird that Nessie and I are so different in terms of personalities yet we can be so close to each other. And yknow what, I think that's exactly why we're close because I am stubborn as hell and I need someone to give in to me HAHA. And also, I can never find a friend who dotes on me as much as she does. She is a "100%-will-marry-if-she-is-a-dude" friend. HAHAHA

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