Sunday, July 1, 2012

And in time, all wounds heal.

This is a good old picture I used to put as my phone's wallpaper for a really long time. I mean, I really hate birds, especially birds that fly so that makes it ALL the birds, but I don't know. Somehow they look pretty, for once, in this picture. Ok this paragraph is totally redundant lalala.

I don't know if anybody ever notice that the title I put for each blog post doesn't really match the contents of the post I've written. HAHA, but they do have meanings behind it. And the meanings of those phrases to me may differ from those in LOL so one example would be the last post which I wrote "wanderlust". According to, it means the desire to travel, but it kinda mean a different thing to me, though it's related to traveling (somehow). I thought wanderlust meant more of searching for the perfect place for yourself. Like the place you wanna be at, you know. So that's why you wander, because most of us do not know what we want. Maybe we do, but how would we know if that's the perfect place for us to be at? Ok so I don't know how I started writing titles that doesn't match the post contents. But I would say the title definitely wasn't there to just look or sound nice, most of the time the titles relate to my feelings at that moment eventhough I might be talking differently in my posts.

So for this blog post, (perhaps an exception?) "And in time, all wounds heal", I just wanna rewind a little back to 24June.

It was really early in the morning, I mean it's kinda early for me cos it's the holidays and it's not normal for me to wake up before noon...sooo yeah. And the day had to begin with horrible news of my Grandma's passing all the way at malaysia. Yes, the place where I just came back from. It was EXACTLY 21 days (3 weeks). 21 days ago, everything was perfectly normal. She was just her usual self, getting pissed off when we play mahjong badly, talking loudly, cooking, laughing. Haha yeaaa. Happiest moment when I saw her was when she greeted me and it really warmed my heart that she could recognise me. I mean some of my cousins couldn't even recognise me, so I reckon she won't either, but she did! Then it's like, all the food she cooked. Whenever we see her, she'll always be in the kitchen whipping up some dishes for us. She is the best cook ever. I never really got the chance to say that to her, unfortunately. Her passing really came as a surprise for us, she was fit and healthy, happy. 

Yes I finally realised how cruel life is, to take somebody's life away, just like that, like a snap of God's fingers. Then my sisters and I began to think so much, and the more we think the more injustice we feel. Comparing a cancer patient who was told she had 3 more months to live to my grandma who passed in her sleep, people may think my grandma is so fortunate to pass without suffering. But to leave without a chance to say the things you wanna say, do the things you wanna do, fortunate? Then people argue that we should never have taken time for granted in the first place. We should always be expressing our love for our loved ones, so when the time comes, we will leave without any regrets. But some things lose its meaning when it's said too many times, just like "sorry". People can say sorry with sarcasm, how's that. And when you say "I love you" to your loved one too many times, won't you start to question whether it's really expressing love, or just a habit. And then, if we always do the things we wanna do, just cos when the time comes, we will leave with no regrets, that seems pretty scary, no? It's as though we're constantly preparing ourselves to face death. I mean, if we're always doing this, then what's living? What's the meaning of living if we're always looking towards death. I know death is inevitable, death eventually gets to all of us. And there can't possibly be a perfect statement to argue against the constant expression of love towards your loved ones because really, that's the right thing to do. Just sometimes, it's really hard. Maybe just my weakness?

So last statement regarding 24June.
Rest in peace popo, I love you.

Ok, so I forgot if I've mentioned how I HAAAATE people who retweet or reblog those things that say:
"Everything's gonna be alright"
"Yeah right, that's cos it's not happening to you."
This kind of tweets or posts really makes me go double-u-tee-eff. Really, your friend was just being nice and saying the right thing. What, so you expect her to say "Everything's bad, you'll never get over it."?!?! -.-

So recently I've been watching alot of movies online cos I think I'm always missing out on some stuffs. My friends are always talking about these three movies "A Walk To Remember", "The Notebook" and "Dear John". I personally think The Notebook is the best, one of the best movies I've watched so far in fact. But one thing I hate about watching movies online is the ambience is just...ugh. HAHA, I want a big screen and comfy chair with a boyfriend beside me. LOL and I hate the fact that the girl in A Walk To Remember had to die (opps spoilt the ending for those who didn't watch it), though it's the whole point of the movie, cos it's like remembering. But the guy is only like 17? I think. And he's gonna spend the rest of his life alone already? Really? I highly doubt so, I mean if I were him I'll find another spouse, eventhough I wouldn't want my husband to do so if I were to die earlier, but he's gonna be so lonely and it's so unfair for him. OK lah fine, it's still a really good movie. I also dislike the ending of Dear John. The ending I like is the OBVIOUS happily ever after, not a quarrel scene then a hugging scene. I want to see the 'happily ever after' part. I hate it when it just shows them hugging and I have to guess whether they're just friends or still couples, though it can be quite common sense but why can't they just put it in a more obvious manner? Argh, annoyingzzz. Still good movie though, but if I were to rank them I would rank
The Notebook < A Walk To Remember < Dear John
The guy in Dear John have perfect height and body figure. (hehe)

Oh I didn't mention anything about my whole family being away leaving only me and Xinlerk at home? HAHA ok now you know. I'm practically taking care of Xinlerk, even ahgong calls me instead of her...that explains alot. I swept the floor, mopped the floor, hung the laundry, folded the clothes, washed the dishes, washed the toilets, cleared the bins. And Xinlerk swept HER room and washed the clothes by pressing the buttons on the washing machine, AND SHE FORGOT TO PUT DETERGENT. Job well done huh. OK honestly can't wait for my family to be back tomorrow. I'm broke. My father expects me to be able to survive with $50 a week with 3 meals a day. And I withdrew the $150 I deposited like 2 weeks ago... :(

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