Thursday, May 3, 2012

Faith will keep me going, you will keep me going.

HEYYOOO, sighs. Feeling moody so I shall blog about it. I'm pretty sure I'll feel better after this post, feels the same way all the time. Love my pretty blog (LOL haven't gotten over the excitement yet.)
Was too bored at home during Labour Day holiday on Tuesday. Don't get me wrong, it's obviously not cos I have nothing to do. It's cos I have so much to do I have no idea where to start. So stressed with jc work and I can safely tell you, I regretted. I'm someone who hardly regrets the decisions I made, and even if I do I won't show it, let alone saying it out. I hate it when I regret and people might be thinking like "hah, told you." And by saying this, I meant like those people who told me to go to poly must be like "Hah, told you jc would be stressful." "told you poly is better." "told you you wouldn't be able to cope." And then, I have something really sincere I wanna say to you guys, from the very bottom of my heart, I wanna say "fuck you". There was once I told this friend of mine how stressful I felt in ajc, and he's like "I'm lucky I'm not in ajc!" Wow, thanks. That helped alot, really. I wanna like do really really well, get higher paying salary than all of you, then let reality slap you in the face that I'm doing fucking well. I hate to prove you people right. But it's the truth, I'm not coping well. I don't know if I will ever cope well in ajc. People around me are so smart, everybody. It feels so different compared to woodlands ring. I can work so hard and still fail in ajc. In wrss, I aim to get an A1 but in ajc, I can't even pass eventhough the passing mark was reduced to 45%. How pathetic. But you know what, I wanna just start all over again, forget about all the tests I failed, and start right now. I wanna work really hard, I mean it's only 2 years in ajc, then a long long break that I'm really gonna make full use of and enjoy the fuck out of my life and then 3 more years, and fucking freedom. I want a taste of freedom again. It's right there, all the years, 10 years of studying, freedom is just 5 years away. I can fucking do this. I wouldn't wanna regret by the end of this year with all the worse things happening to me, I know what's the worst thing that can happen to me. I don't want it to happen and I won't let it happen.
Take all the sighs I heaved back. I wanna quit sighing. It's unhealthy.

So below are gonna be some photos from the Public Performance that I was looking forward to so bad and then comes a last minute text that says there's gonna be training that afternoon. Not that I'm sick of training, or angry that there's training or whatsoever. But c'mon, give me a break. This is my 9th year playing volleyball, I've never had a proper break from it. I've let go of so many overseas trip during mid-year and year-end holidays to visit my grandparents just cos I don't wanna miss training. I'm missing out too many things! I haven't seen my granddad (yeye) in like 4 years and I miss riding the motorbike. The last time I went there, I was still having short hair. It's that crazy, but thank god I'm going back this june holidays. 

Don't go around judging that previous paragraph when you obviously don't know how I feel. I am THAT passionate about volleyball, I wouldn't stop playing it forever.
Miss my girls so bad. So happy to see them by coincidence this Monday! Saw Sheela in the morning while she was heading to school and saw Maria in the afternoon. I was so happy I cried. Really, I miss secondary school like crazy. I was even more happy to see Rasyidah and Farhan. AHHH, tell me what to do to bring those moments back again.
Yay, photo with chaoz. LOL
He put as his phone's wallpaper, I SWEAAAARRR I didn't force him to do it. I merely..hmm hinted him. LOLLL
Wah like a prom photo. HAHAHA, but my legs forever open until so big. I apologise for the nosebleed. LOLLLLL okcan.
BROOOOOO, been so long since I had a nice chat with Runfa! I can call on him anytime and we'll just meet out for a meal. Miss those times!
TOMMY!!! HAHAHA, can't get over Yuyang with that name. He have TOO MANY nicknames. OH OMG I JUST REALISED, we wore matching colours that day!
JACKIE!!! HAHAHAHAHA, all these photos are making me miss sec school even more. I miss how lively Biology lessons used to be!
With my dearest Marzzzzzz. Had a great day with this girl that day!
And last but not least, me and my volleyball girls! Hahaha, so nice to see everyone dressing up that day even JENNY YANG MEHMEH! All these cheaters hor, wear high heels then all taller than me. But luckily I'm not the shortest, HAHAHA. JENNY SHORTEST THATS WHY SHE STAND IN FRONT.
Ok a photo to embarrass myself but omg seriously, I look hideous.

So I wrote a compo about my best friend (Pantita) for my chinese essay and only 500 words was required but I overshot to 1000 words. Opps, HAHAHA, too many things to say! But all the descriptives damn lame, HAHAHA, I said Pan's eyelashes line up like long grass along the river. T.T So, I was contemplating whether I should post the chinese essay here but I guess not. I shall wait until Pan comes back to Singapore then I show her and slowly translate to her one by one. HAHAHA, but I'll post the photo I chose for the essay!
Here it is! I think I look chio and candid that's why I choose this. MUAHAHAHAHA, ok can but Pan look sexy with her sexy backless shirt also right! Anyway, I was wondering is all along when I wrote "Pan" in my blog posts, do readers read it as the "pots and pans" the PAN, or Pan as in PUN. LOLLLL anyway it's PUN. LOVE YOU PANPUNPANPUNPANPUN <3

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