But God, was it beautiful

It's 17 days past my birthday but nevermind I'll just quickly go through what happened (it's really nothing much but still I wanna thank some really special people for their special effort in surprising me!) This year's birthday had been the most simple yet one filled with the most surprises.

First 19-year-old selfie lol 

(kinda scares me to know that I'm just one year away to hitting the big '2' and my lil bro hitting his first double digit age. God time is passing too damn fast man.)

So 5 minutes before it was officially my birthday, Hongye called me to tell me to leave the house. But well, it was supposed to be a surprise but he kinda ruined it cos he bumped into me a few days before and we talked and he kinda spilled that he wanted me to be free on the day itself and stuff so I kinda guessed. So when I left the house, Xiaojun and Hongye started singing me a birthday song holding a candle stuck on this horribly looking thing which was supposed to be the cake HAHAHA damn mean I know but it looks funny and cute and definitely nowhere near looking like a cake. But anyway I really appreciate the fact that they made the cake for me because it means that they really spent quite a bit of effort and I was awfully touched and terribly thankful. We chatted for a few hours by the stairs at my house and we hugged and went home. Conversations with them are the most precious and memorable because they are so fucking funny. Friends since primary school in chinese class, I'll never forget the years we've been through. Cheers to many more years ahead, old friends. (I feel horribly old fuck)

Every girl deserves a guy who thinks this way of her and I feel so fucking lucky

When I finally got home, Xintien and Xinlerk were lying down on the bed in my room and chatting with the lights on. They wished me happy birthday and kissed and hugged and raped me whatever and Xintien handed me this little book that Jon made for me. Omg it was the best surprise ever. I knew way before that Jon wouldn't be able to celebrate my birthday for me and I was really okay with it because he'll be in NS yknow and I know that he will wanna spend my birthday with me if he could but he couldn't. And the scrapbook was so detailed and beautiful. It was gorgeous. I've only received two scrapbooks in my life, and this has got to be the most precious one. Like if there was a fire emergency at home, I'll grab the book and run. It's all photos and little letters for me to read when I'm feeling anxious, loss of faith and whatever and it's really just what I needed to keep going if anything goes wrong in my life. I just needed that one person that means the world to me to push me to keep on living, to keep on trying. It is the best gift I've ever received because unlike memories that can fade away, the book itself is a memory, a collection, and it's something I can protect and keep safe. I love it and I don't need you to tell me I have the best boyfriend in the world because I know I have the best boyfriend in the world. And if your face is all cringed up in disgust then I'll tell you to wipe that jealous expression off your face HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMG IM SO HAPPY AND RETARDED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT ok I love you baby. Oh and it turns out that Xintien and Jon were in cahoots to make sure the surprise goes well for me. So thank you annoying sister. You're ze best. 

(while typing this, Xintien is currently crying in her sleep because she dreamt that her bestfriend died. So cute right HAHA aww I just wanna pinch her face but it's all full of pimples so nah)

So I woke up the next morning, not by my alarm, or my body clock whatever, but by two horrible singers. HAHAHH kidding I was awaken by Sheela and Maria's birthday song. So I was braless and eyebrow-less and my face full of pimple cream and my eyes with double eyelid tape morning breath and the two of them decided to drop by with a birthday cake with candles for me to blow out HAHAH too sweet. I love them to bits. I also went on to go naked so that they could see me try on the dress that Sheela bought for me, which I absolutely adore and can't wait to wear it out! Thank you girls, you both are the silliest friends I have. We were all like stalking Naomi Neo and Sheela wouldn't stop calling her a baby elephant HAHAHAHAHA WTF RIGHT, baby elephant I have no idea why lol. Then they left and I went back to sleep HAHA. Pig mode forever on, even on my birthday. Thank you girls :*

Later that afternoon, I went over to Jon's house to tutor Nic. Yeah what a horribly boring birthday HAHA but eh Nic and I are like best buddies now ok he's confiding in me about his love life and I'm giving him sound advices as the opposite sex. Oh well young love is such dumb love lol ok kidding it's really cute.

Oh hmm I think that kinda concludes my birthday celebration. I'm meeting my AJVB girls this coming Thursday for very belated birthday celebration. At least those bitches didn't forget about me haha I really couldn't ask for more.

So hmm I think it was on 17 May where I met up with my usual clubbing girls (Nessie and Marz) to head down to Azzura. It was all our first time there and we decided to book a hotel to stayover so we can go all out at the party. Oh well guess whose the only one who went all out 100% and got awfully drunk HAHA. Carlton Hotel was amazing I wished we stayed another night!!! :(

Curled my short hair for the first time

Marz is just like "I don't give a fuck" HAHAHA

Feeling absolutely inferior beside this skinny girl with big boobs but guess what, she wants my ass. At least there's something she's jealous of about me HAHAHA

I know I was doing a lot of stupid poses but that's just cos I super love staying in hotels and the toilet is so fucking nice?! We can all shower and bathe at the same time omg I love it HAHA

Whose slippers?

Bumped into several familiar faces that night and I wish I could elaborate more but I really can't remember much except being thrown into the pool so many times I don't even know who threw me in. The first time I got thrown in I hit my left ear and the left side of my upper back which left me in pain for days. Clubbing injuries find their way in all sorts of odd ways. Anyway, it was really fun at Azzura (I don't get why so many people hate it?!) except I was extremely scared to get burned by cigarettes cos everyone was smoking everywhere even on the dance floor, but well everywhere was the dance floor lol. I will definitely visit Azzura again!!!

Oh and I was working as a Sunkiller Ambassador several Saturdays back. Basically what we did was give out free samples of the product and let them try out the texture of the sunscreen. It was really fun but the bad side was that we were sweating so much. We had to go to sunny places where people actually needs sunscreen so they will want to listen to us, and also so that our project makes sense. Who uses sunscreen indoors right?! Anyway it was really easy money and I also made a few friends.

I've been talking a lot about religions and beliefs with my friends recently and it just struck me how different everyone thinks. Sure, some religions hold similar beliefs but still different in some ways and I'm really not sure how I feel about it. Some people think that religion guides them to the right path and forces discipline in them, while others feel that it's just a restriction to their way of life. I was born a Buddhist, but I didn't commit much to it and I never really knew much. I didn't even know Buddhists can't eat beef lol. Anyway, I grew to become more of a free thinker. My house has no altar and non of my direct family members pray/burn incense paper on the 7th month. I told my Grandparents I didn't wanna pray anymore when I was in primary school because I didn't understand why I was praying and who/what I was praying to. I was never influenced into believing in any God, or maybe I just didn't want to believe in them.

Many people have different ideas on what happens after we die. Most people believe in torture for the sins we commit in life before going to Heaven, while I, on the other hand, never believed in Hell. My life has never been a smooth-sailing ship, and I believe that everyone goes through tough times once in awhile in their life. No matter the degree of your storm, it's still a tough time. I believe that in life, the hardships we get are enough a torture to us and that we shouldn't have to be tortured again in death. Sure, we've all sinned but that doesn't mean we don't deserve peace after we die. I believe that after we die, we will learn from the mistakes we've done in our life, but not through torture. It doesn't even make sense in the first place that humans torturing others is a sin and God gets to torture us. THEN ISN'T GOD SINNING TOO. 

Religion is a really touchy topic and I'm not sure if I'm gonna offend anyone with this post lol, but it's just what I believe. I do respect what others believe in, it just never occurred to me as completely logical. Speaking about being logical, my belief isn't that logical as well. Because I believe in faeries and mermaids HAHA. I believe that if I enter a very beautiful enchanting place, faeries exists in the bushes the leaves the grass and the trees. I believe that mermaids are real and I hate dolphins. 

Ok just a piece of my mind bye.