Dear God

Happy Birthday Jesus

Maria Eve Me

I can't simply put into words how much I've been longing for this day to come quick. I was so lost, so confused. I desperately needed something to believe in. I just felt that I needed to pray. I needed something to happen to me so I can move on. I visited Church of St Anthony with Maria at 12am on Christmas. The whole mass took about 1.5 hours but it was so meaningful. I listened to everything the pastor said and I believed him. I actually like to pray to God.

I prayed with my eyes so full of tears that I try to swallow back:

"Dear God, I hope you give me the strength to overcome this lowest phase of my life. And in time I will be thankful and appreciative of all the obstacles I face in life and all the challenges. In time, I will be grateful. I hope the people I love will stay in my life. Thank you God."

When the Catholics went forward to receive the bread, I went too but with my arms crossed and I was blessed by the people on the forehead. The pastor also said that if we remember to wish Jesus Happy Birthday sincerely, something good will happen to us. When the pastor ask for us to close our eyes and pray for the people who have passed on, the first person I thought of immediately was my Popo, then I thought of Bobby (Chaoyi's dog). Don't ask me why I thought of him, I don't know either, but I prayed for him.

I'm thinking of attending church every Christmas from now on, or maybe other times when I'm free. It's very meaningful, and I learnt about the Xmas tree which is also known as the tree of distraction. HAHA, very interesting.